Monday, November 28, 2016

Night Shift Day 1

   My beloved bipolar husband just got home from his first day of working night shifts again.
   I'll keep an eye on him today.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Night Shift

    My beloved bipolar husband got a night shift.

    Last time he had one, we didn't know about the bipolar. Since we weren't doing light therapy, he got very depressed. He trusts that he can work past it this time with his happy lamp.

    I think he'll do fine. :)

Thursday, November 10, 2016


    It might be time to break out the happy lamp.

    My beloved bipolar husband has been having a hard time sleeping lately. He says he's depressed. Poor guy.

    I'm concentrating hard on getting into copywriting and finishing my second novella at the moment.
    My blog has fallen through the cracks.

    I'd love to work on healthy eating and exercise next. As soon as I finish my novella and get my first copywriting gig, I'll move my priorities.

    It's amazing how much my mood affects my husband.

   I try my best to be a pleasant person who brings the much needed happiness to those around me, but I feel like the real me is a very gloomy, sad and grumpy bear.
    It's hard because he knows me too well. He reacts to the feelings I'm truly having.

    Yesterday, my coworker, who is 19 years younger than me, was complaining to my boss about some drama in the workplace.
    "And then there's sweet little Breezy." She said for both of us. "Who never has any drama."

    I felt quite happy about that. However, with my husband I can't "fake it til you make it." I have to rearrange myself.
    If I'm feeling negative, I have to look at the emotion I'm having, validate its existence, and then move past it so I can think of how to apply logic to the problem.
    It's really hard, I do admit. It's so nice to be able to do that though.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Under the Radar

    My beloved bipolar husband told me yesterday that he'd been depressed for a few weeks now. I was shocked.
    Maybe he's gotten so good at handling himself and using coping techniques that I couldn't notice it. As his wife, though, it's distressing. I hope I know him well enough to know when something is up.

    The new baby has been screaming pretty non-stop while I've been at work. It's not surprising because, well, she's not yet 3 months old.
    He keeps saying he'll look for a new job so I can watch her in the day again, but he hasn't yet, That's also not surprising because being employed is honestly, frickin horrible!
    The baby, Lulu (age 3) and Icy (age 2) have all been taking turns waking up at night so chronic sleep deprivation probably plays a role in the crabbiness. I'm surprised the lack of sleep hasn't sent him into more manias, but he is so responsible.
    We've also just been having a hard time this week. Our car battery died and it's a funny one that lives under the back seat, so, it needed to be special ordered. We weren't able to grocery shop, so my husband has been using kitchen wizard spells to conjure food.

    As far as Americans go, we're awfully poor. However, as an American, I do appreciate what we have. If you really look at it, it it quite a lot, so, in spirit of November, I'm going to work on being greatful and happy!

Thursday, November 3, 2016

I've run out of words

    I started this blog four months ago, and I feel as though I'm just repeating myself now.

    Maybe living with bipolars is just this predictable, but it seems like the days are similar.

    Yesterday he cleaned the kitchen like crazy and let me play Sims 4 on his computer all day. It's been a nice break since my own computer has been dead for a long time now.
    Every year we go to the Day of the Dead parade we have here in Missoula, but with the car down right now, the girls and I missed it.
    Our friend and old roommate was in town so my beloved bipolar walked down and joined him at the parade. They seemed to have a good time.

    Our life is so normal.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Seems Good

    It's good when life's good!

    There was a challenging moment last night, since our car is broked and we have 4 kids, but we pushed past it and made more awesome memories.
    We had a great time with our little critters.

    Halloween is both my beloved bipolar's and my favorite holiday and someday, we'll have to go all out for it!
    I'm just so glad that we live how we do with what we have.
    I appreciate this man and all our babies