Wednesday, October 5, 2016


    As an Aspie, I have a really hard time with people. I take everything personally and often I literally cannot speak. The speaking part of my brain will shut off and, unless I've thought about responses, I will stumble to find words like a pre-teen confronted by their crush.

    In two months, my husband will have been a stay-at-home-dad for two years now, so by now, he's very used to my factual, Aspie way of talking.
    It's so awesome to have someone understand how Aspie's works. Someone who knows I don't understand small talk. Someone who won't ask for my opinion, unless they are prepared for my honest answer. He likes talking to me. This is good, because we're married. This is also bad because, for the past two years, I'm the adult he's talked the most to, and now that he's attempting to reassimilate into the adult, human world, he has no patience for small talk. He can't stand when people ask him for his opinion when really they want reassurance, and he can't stand the dishonesty of others.

    Mild dishonesty seems to be a staple of other's conversations.
    People tend to quote things they've seen like facts that they haven't fact checked and that bothers both my beloved bipolar husband and me. I do fact check, so if I bring up the facts, those people shy away.
    I really don't know why they say those things. They usually don't want to debate. The "facts" they present are often unrelated to the rest of the conversation, so it's not to extrapolate on the conversation, and lastly, they are often wrong, so I cannot believe that they use them to feel smart.
    I suspect feeling smart is pro'ly closest to their goals, but it's so wrong!

    Anyway, my beloved bipolar husband went off to play with other adults and came back a bit crestfallen.
    He went with his best friend, who is also quite Aspie, and while there, he found himself stuck in uncomfortable small talk. Even though there were others there that he knew, he found another Aspie and spent the night around the Aspies there.

    Now, he mentioned he wants a job so he can, you know, stop being so lonely, but if he's not comfortable talking to non-Aspies, making connections will be pretty hard.

    In my super social job, I see one Aspie adult to about every ten non-Aspies.
    The new friend forecast is spotty.

    I almost feel like I broke his ability to have "normal people conversations." :/

No comments:

Post a Comment