Monday, October 3, 2016

I really didn't realize

    My beloved bipolar husband was doing some video hypnosis courses that we have, which is fine. He decided to watch one, one-hour video a day. That was also a pretty normal-person thing to do. A nice goal. Then he decided he was simultaneously going to do some charisma courses and I got worried he was on the edge of a mania.

    I gently mentioned that he should slow down and that I could see the beginning of a mania emerging, and it seemed like things slowed down.
    However, he told me yesterday that he's in a depression.

    Looking back, I can it now. I can see exactly when it switched, but at the time, I didn't realize at all! I feel so bad!


    He was so excited because one of our very favorite hypnotists was web-hosting a seminar where he was planning on having a Q&A at the end!
    This was possibly going to be the first time we'd be able to actually interact with him and we were both SO EXCITED!
    With a nudge, this man could be someone who's known for a very long time in history as someone who made great advancements in hypnosis. He is one of my personal idols.

    His material isn't cheap, but it's often worth its price. Every time we hear about a new product we think about how we could budget to make it fit, and every time we hear about an event he's holding, my beloved bipolar and I are never able to save the funds in time, so we mark the day with moments of silence and significant, sad glances at each other.
    Someday," we keep thinking, "Someday we'll have used the knowledge we've grown from his stuff to build up a business and then, then we'll have enough money to go see him in person. Then, we'll be able to talk to him."

    I figured no one interested in his Q&A would have sticker shock if they'd looked at, and enjoyed any of his products, so when his pitch took FOUR HOURS, I was absolutely shocked.

    That day, my beloved bipolar went from manically excited to depressed within those four hours.

   The drain is obvious now. His energy faded from the kind that a kid has after you hand the cashier the money, in those seconds when they hand them the candy back, to that of a jilted, sad hermit, living on the fringe of society because he feels unloved and shunned.
    He instantly dropped all of his hypnosis videos, the charisma lessons and the desire to talk to his friends.

    And, he's been playing video games.

    I should have known. He always uses video games to recharge when he's depressed, or when he's had too much people.

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