Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Much Love

    My beloved bipolar let me sleep in this morning, and cooked me and the kids biscuits and gravy, which is not something he is currently eating. (He's on the keto diet right now).

    It's amazing and sweet that he can be so selfless and caring.

    Our life together has been pretty calm. The ups and downs of both our difficult childhoods have been ironed out by love and a cultivated calmness that has helped us face challenges as if they're nothing more than the next thing on our "To Do" list.
    We're poor right now. We have to be extremely careful with our money because every dollar we make has a specific thing it needs to pay for. Sometimes we have to scramble to find $20-$50 because a bill went through early, or we needed emergency diapers or medicine.
    We choose to be poor because when my beloved bipolar was making a "Living Wage" with his last  job and the job before that, we saw him no more than two or three times a week.
    It got to the point where when I went to drop him off, Bubbles burst into tears. It was obvious that she was having an honest, mental breakdown, and right then, we both realized it was more responsible to be poor, and have him home, than have the money we wanted.
    It was possibly the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen.
    My little girl, barely speaking, unable to make eye contact through her violent tears, chocking out "Bye-Bye Daddy!"
    Because of one of those jobs, he missed the birth of his third daughter, Icy. I don't believe he will ever get over that.

    I have an incredible amount of respect for military families. I don't know how they manage it because I can honestly say, that having gone through those jobs, I know we could not make a military job work.

    I realize that we must still be pretty in love, even after these 8 years because It's so worth the $3,000 a month pay cut we took so we could be together.

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